For me, my notes were full. I have lived my entire life being "half way in." I completed high school half way, doing only enough to get by. I played sports that way in the end of things, only working hard when I had to. I have been half way with school, which is why I am 36 and in college...again. I treat my fitness and health half way, working hard for a while and then slacking off...yet wondering why I am not progressing like I had hoped. I have treated my finances half way and spent when I wanted to spend, no matter the consequences of debt. I have even treated my faith half way, only leaning on God when it is convenient and not when it is hard.
So yesterday was a real eye opener for me. No more time for half hearted living...it's time for total devotion to the things that matter. It's time to work hard and play later. It's time to crack down and get serious about the things that I want in life. I sat and looked at my long term goal list in my bathroom this morning. I hadn't done that in a while. I mean, I see it every day, but I don't look at it and think about it every day like I used to.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have dreamed of having children for as long as I remember. It has been my number one goal for my life. There are times when I have thought that maybe that wasn't in the cards for me...maybe it wasn't part of God's plan. But, I don't really believe that. I don't think God would have given me such a passion for parenting if it wasn't to happen. So I looked today at that list and adopting a child stood out to me. If that is something that I really want to do (or have a child through other means) then I have to work hard for it. It's not just going to fall into my lap without any effort.
I have never been the greatest about sticking to a budget. I can write a budget and it all looks good on paper, but when it comes to actually sticking to it, I suck at it! But, for the first time in my life, I have a budget with every single dollar accounted for and planned for. I have stupid debt. Much more than I should and probably not as much as some. I have credit card debt, medical debt, and way too much student loan debt. But, I have a plan and I am working slowly, but surely, on paying off that debt. Thankfully my student loan is on good standing and is currently deferred while I am in school.
My health and fitness have been a struggle since I got out of college back in 1999-2000. Stupid choices and a lack of exercise ave landed me where I am today. I was rocking really well for about 3 months and I got lazy. I missed a day, then a week, then two weeks. Next thing I knew, I was eating junk, driving through the fast food line, eating too late, and not cooking. It was so easy to fall right back into the bad habits. Even when I realized what was happening, I had lost the motivation. I was distracted and discouraged. It was easier to go back to the old choices. It was too hard to force myself to get up early to go to the gym. I had other things that I wanted to do on the weekends that didn't involve waking early to go walk or run at the park. But, yesterday was yet another wake up call.
It's time to crack down and me totally devoted to the things that matter...to things that are important to me: faith, family, fitness, and finances. I can do this...not alone, but with God, all things are possible. I have new outlook on life and I am jumping in totally devoted to reaching the goals that I set out for myself...and maybe even some that I haven't realized that I want yet.
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