Something I never thought I would hear...

For almost 2 weeks (12 days to be exact, since January 12, 2015) I have consistently been going to the gym or walking at the park every day, except Wednesdays, which is kind of my rest day because my schedule makes it hard to work out on that day. I am trying very hard not to focus too much on that weight number, as I know it will eventually come down, but it will be a slow process. I am a numbers girl, so that will be one of my toughest battles in all of this. I feel so much better already, even though it has only been two weeks. I am eating better, drinking water, and enjoying the exercise. It is still a tough battle with myself every day to get up early, but once I do, I am so happy to have fought the battle.

I went to the gym this morning and burned 497 calories in 57 minutes, split between the treadmill and the recumbent bike. It was a bit harder today, since I was sore from yesterday's workout (638 calories in 88 minutes, split between the bike and working with my trainer, Celeste.) I was determined to do cardio for an hour today and I succeeded. I met a wonderfully sweet lady, who I am looking forward to working out with next week. I was also introduced to a gentleman as he was getting ready to ride the bike next to me after his workout. What he said next totally blew my mind (in reference to me.)

"Oh yeah, I see her here all the time. I think she lives here."

At the moment, I kind of chuckled it off and went about my workout, but as I rode the bike, I began to think about what he actually said. I couldn't believe that someone would say that about me, ever! Not only did it make me feel good, but it made me realize that people are watching. We never know who might be watching us. We have a million chances in a day to be an inspiring example to someone or show them what not to do.

I know this because I work with children every day. Over the past several weeks, I have made it my mission to be a better example to my 25 little kindergartners. I talk to them daily about how much I believe in them and that if you work hard, you will find rewards in life. I tell my kids (in my class) every day, "Never, ever give up. Even if something is hard, or you don't want to do it, do your best and try hard every time." We read stories daily that go along with this theme. As it is when it comes to children, I never know if they are getting it...never know if they are really understanding, or even listening to what I have to say. But they are. 

Last week, I overheard, and secretly watched, a little boy encouraging a little girl not to quit and keep trying while they were playing chess. I started teaching my class chess at the beginning of the school year. They are so amazing and they love playing. Some are actually getting pretty good. But as I watched these two children playing, I was brought to tears in my classroom as I heard him tell her, "Remember, never, ever give up. It's okay if you didn't win. We can play again and you will try hard and get better. But, you can never, ever give up." I don't let my kids quit in the middle of a game. I try to teach them to good winners and good losers. To hear a 6 year old tell another child this advice blew me away. I watched them over the next hour or so and they played 5 games...and she lost every single time. Yet, she continued to try again and never got upset and never gave up. 

With my kids, I knew they were always watching me and now I try to be the best example for them every day. I know that I will fail at times, but I will never give up. And when I heard that I "lived at the gym," I realized that it's not just my kids who are watching me, it's everyone around me. I don't have to give great speeches to inspire someone. Maybe just by showing up every day, someone will see and realize they can do it too. I never, ever thought that someone would compliment me like that today, but it motivates me that much more to keep it up!

#bebravebebadass #teamendured #functionalfitnesspersonaltraining #nevergiveup #someoneisalwayswatchingyou #bethebestexample

Finally making some commitments...am I crazy?!

I have always had a hard time with commitments. Whether it has been school or relationships or my health or with God, deciding to do something and sticking to it has always been difficult for me. I started back to school in August 2014 and I have decided that this will be be my last attempt to finish. I am far more committed to it now than I have ever been in the past. As far as relationships go, I am more committed to my friendships than I have been before, but I don't have many really close friends. God has been an important part of my life since 1998, even more so since 2008, but has often been placed on the back burner of my life. I never found time to daily talk to or spend time with God.  The current series at my church (www.12stone.com) is called Searching for a Better Life and it has touched my life more than any series thus far in so many ways.

I am searching for a better life. Not that my life is bad, but it could be better. The first thing that Pastor Kevin (PK) talked about was making a list. How do you know if you have a better life if you don't know what all that requires? Not only do I need to make a long term list, I also need to make a daily list of the 6 most important things that I need to get done that day, in order of importance. So, Sunday night (01/18/2014) I made my list of the top 10 things I wanted to do or have to make a better life for myself. I wrote them in no particular order and hung them in my bathroom, on the mirror, so I would see them every single day, morning and night. After just 2 days, it reaffirms my focus every morning, because now I know what I working so hard for.

The first two things o my daily list each day are:

1. Spend time with God

2. Workout at gym or outside (except Wednesdays)

After those two things, my list normally consists of homework or chores that I need to get done that day. I am amazed at the peace that comes from spending just a short time with God first thing each morning. My last two days have been so stress free and relaxed, even with a really bad migraine last night. I have been going to the gym or walking at the park for a little over a week now and I am starting to crave it. Now, don't get me wrong, I still argue with myself every morning when my alarm goes off at 7:00 AM, and I still have to force myself to get up most days, but the difference is that I am actually getting up! I let myself "sleep in" on Sundays because I don't have near the amount of things to do on the weekend, but the last two weekends that has only been till 8:30 AM. Anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT a morning person and I hate getting up early and missing out on sleep. But, I am finally committed to doing this to achieve my goals to have a better life. 

Another way to get me to commit to something is to make me pay for it. I joined a gym (www.trainatfunctionalfitness.com) and I work with my trainer, Celeste, twice a week. So far I love it...not sure how well I am doing, but I know I go home sore! Last Monday was my first session and I was sore till the weekend. My muscles had not done exercise in so long that I think they were revolting. After my second session, I was still sore, but my body recovered much faster than it had the week before. She cheers me on, holds me accountable, and gives me knowledge about how to cope with things in real life. On the days I am not scheduled with her, I wake up early and go to the gym and ride the bike and walk on the treadmill. On the weekends, I bundle up and go walk at the park. I'd love to be able to run a 5K one day, but at my weight now, that is not a smart thing to do. But, I can walk one...

And that is the next commitment that I made. I signed up for a membership with the Atlanta Track Club last week. I am not a runner, but with my membership comes free entry to several races. I liked that. I read the course requirements for several of them and found that the top limits for times (25min/mile) were well within my range for walking. I might come in dead last place, but at least I am making the effort. So, with that, I registered for my very first 5K last weekend and it takes place on Saturday, February 7th. It is called the Heart and Soles 5K. I had to sign myself up in order to make myself go. Otherwise, I would keep putting it off until the date passed. I will not be running this 5K (or any other race anytime soon) but I will walk it and I will finish it and I will work harder every day to get better. 

Another one of lifelong dreams has been to complete the Peachtree Road Race. Every year, we go to Lenox Square for the 4th of July and watch the fireworks. Every year I see all the people and their shirts and every year I tell my family or friends that I want to do that "next year." Well, next year has moved from 1998 to 2015!  So, the other reason I signed up with Atlanta Track Club is that it comes with guaranteed entry to the Peachtree if you sign up by February 1st. Again, there is no way that I could run a 10K this year, but I can walk it. I worked as a volunteer last year, handing out water to the people who passed by and I saw many people walking and working hard to climb those hills to the finish line. It will not be an easy task even to walk it in the summer heat in downtown Atlanta, but it will be worth it. My family thinks I am crazy for wanting to do it (and get up crazy early as well) but I hope they will be at the finish line to cheer me on when I do it. Who knows, maybe next year, I could actually run it!

I am eating so much better and enjoying it at the same time. Most days I have to pack my meals and snacks for the whole day, but it is worth it. This has not been, nor will it be, an easy task for me. I have some serious problems when it comes to unhealthy food and right now, I can't even have it in my house. It's too tempting. I eat before I go do my grocery shopping and that makes it so much easier to stroll down the frozen aisle to get veggies and pass up the ice cream. I also avoid the cookie and cracker aisle like it's the plague! Because for me, right now, it's too much of a temptation and eventually my "willpower" will fail...if it didn't, I wouldn't be where I am right now. And another miracle is that I am willingly drinking 1 GALLON of plain water every day. It has gotten to wear it is an easy thing for me to do and I find that I crave it as well when I have gone too long without it.

I am thankful for those who believe in me and cheer me on daily: Celeste, Angela, Nathan, my parents, and my sister, just to name a few. I know there are people who pray for me every day and probably even some that I don't even know. But know this, my daily prayer is that someone will read this or see this and find some kind of inspiration in my struggles, I hope and pray that I can impact just one person in this journey of mine...for someone to know that even what seems impossible, can be made possible with the right tools, hard work, and positive people in your life. 

Check out www.teamendured.com to find out more about Operation Caryn's Smiles and more about how to get involved in encouraging others in their journey as well. Be Brave, Be Badass!

#bebravebebadass #neverquit #neverevergiveup #nevertoolatetotryagain #committmentishard

New year, new plan...same goals!

2014 was really not a good year for me. Between smashing my hand just months before the new year began to my car accident in April and recovery that has taken nearly a year, I am ready for 2015. I want to have a year that is uneventful, or at least free of bad events. They say that everything happens for a reason. I am a firm believer in that...I may not ever know the reasons, but I also believe that good can come from any situation.

My accident changed my life. It gave me a new perspective on things that were important and made me realize that I was wasting much of my life. My first step in changing that was getting back to school. I ended my first semester, with 10 hours, for Surgical Technology, with my very first 4.0. This was not my first one due to a lack of intelligence, but because of a lack of drive and pure laziness. I struggle daily to overcome the pull of the TV and the warm covers of my bed. I struggle to stay awake to complete homework and sometimes, by some miracle, even get homework and assignments completed and turned in early. I have always given up in school when it got difficult or when I got bored with something. That is why I am 35 years old and still have not completed my degree, despite being in college off and on for the better part of 10 years. But, I am still busting my tail and I am going to do it this time and I am never going to give up, no matter how hard it gets.

I have the same problem with giving up when it comes to my health. I did really well for several months and then I back tracked some. I got back on track and then the holidays hit and the little willpower that I had left was gone. Surrounded daily with sweets and junk food, coupled with no school and lots of time off of work, I managed to gain back nearly all of the 20 pounds that I had lost. I stopped worrying about what I ate, stopped tracking what I ate, stopped exercising, and started saying that I would do it "tomorrow." The problem with that mentality is that "tomorrow" never gets here. There is always some excuse as to why it should wait another day. Days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years, which is why I find myself in the current state of unhealthy.

I am totally opposed to New Year's Resolutions, mainly because I have never followed through with one. I intentionally quit smoking on January 3, 2012 because it was not the 1st and couldn't be called a resolution. It's all a matter of semantics, but it works for me! For that reason, I didn't want to restart my healthy lifestyle change at the beginning of the year, But, I needed to get something on the books to force me to be accountable. So, I scheduled a meeting with Celeste at Functional Fitness Personal Training.  I knew that if I had it on my calendar, I would be more likely to keep it. I had been referred to Celeste several times oer the years by my friend Alyson. I never really had the money or the commitment to follow through with it. 

But, I finally did today and I can tell that this decision is going to change my life. I loved the gym. I loved Celeste, I loved the people who I met today. I love that I can get one on one training time and not feel like everyone is staring at me. I like that there is only 1 or 2 other people there at the same time. I love that someone explained everything to me about the exercises and machines and didn't just assume I had worked out before. I loved that I could talk to her about my injuries and problems that I have had before in the past. I love that she will help me to rehab my hand and my knee in order to get back on track. I love that she told me that she would never, ever give up on me. I love that she told me that there would be days where she would get in my face and other days where there would cheers and hugs. I loved that they are starting a Biggest Loser contest and I am just in time to join. I love that she was patient and kind to deal with me when I wasn't sure I wanted to commit. I love that I am excited to start back on this journey.

I have a long way to go and will know some exact numbers tomorrow. I am scheduled to have a metabolism test and to do all my weights and measurements tomorrow (UGH!) I am looking forward to the journey and for committing to one more thing that will make my life a better one. New Year's Resolutions are always about making one's life better...so I guess in a sense, this is one in the same, but for my sake, I'll just call it the next step in my brave and badass journey! And it is one that I will never give up...never again.

#bebrave #bebadass #neverquit #nevergiveup #teamendured #itisnevertolatetostartoveragain