My accident changed my life. It gave me a new perspective on things that were important and made me realize that I was wasting much of my life. My first step in changing that was getting back to school. I ended my first semester, with 10 hours, for Surgical Technology, with my very first 4.0. This was not my first one due to a lack of intelligence, but because of a lack of drive and pure laziness. I struggle daily to overcome the pull of the TV and the warm covers of my bed. I struggle to stay awake to complete homework and sometimes, by some miracle, even get homework and assignments completed and turned in early. I have always given up in school when it got difficult or when I got bored with something. That is why I am 35 years old and still have not completed my degree, despite being in college off and on for the better part of 10 years. But, I am still busting my tail and I am going to do it this time and I am never going to give up, no matter how hard it gets.
I have the same problem with giving up when it comes to my health. I did really well for several months and then I back tracked some. I got back on track and then the holidays hit and the little willpower that I had left was gone. Surrounded daily with sweets and junk food, coupled with no school and lots of time off of work, I managed to gain back nearly all of the 20 pounds that I had lost. I stopped worrying about what I ate, stopped tracking what I ate, stopped exercising, and started saying that I would do it "tomorrow." The problem with that mentality is that "tomorrow" never gets here. There is always some excuse as to why it should wait another day. Days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years, which is why I find myself in the current state of unhealthy.
I am totally opposed to New Year's Resolutions, mainly because I have never followed through with one. I intentionally quit smoking on January 3, 2012 because it was not the 1st and couldn't be called a resolution. It's all a matter of semantics, but it works for me! For that reason, I didn't want to restart my healthy lifestyle change at the beginning of the year, But, I needed to get something on the books to force me to be accountable. So, I scheduled a meeting with Celeste at Functional Fitness Personal Training. I knew that if I had it on my calendar, I would be more likely to keep it. I had been referred to Celeste several times oer the years by my friend Alyson. I never really had the money or the commitment to follow through with it.
But, I finally did today and I can tell that this decision is going to change my life. I loved the gym. I loved Celeste, I loved the people who I met today. I love that I can get one on one training time and not feel like everyone is staring at me. I like that there is only 1 or 2 other people there at the same time. I love that someone explained everything to me about the exercises and machines and didn't just assume I had worked out before. I loved that I could talk to her about my injuries and problems that I have had before in the past. I love that she will help me to rehab my hand and my knee in order to get back on track. I love that she told me that she would never, ever give up on me. I love that she told me that there would be days where she would get in my face and other days where there would cheers and hugs. I loved that they are starting a Biggest Loser contest and I am just in time to join. I love that she was patient and kind to deal with me when I wasn't sure I wanted to commit. I love that I am excited to start back on this journey.
I have a long way to go and will know some exact numbers tomorrow. I am scheduled to have a metabolism test and to do all my weights and measurements tomorrow (UGH!) I am looking forward to the journey and for committing to one more thing that will make my life a better one. New Year's Resolutions are always about making one's life better...so I guess in a sense, this is one in the same, but for my sake, I'll just call it the next step in my brave and badass journey! And it is one that I will never give up...never again.
#bebrave #bebadass #neverquit #nevergiveup #teamendured #itisnevertolatetostartoveragain
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